Hi tumblr. Sometimes I look at my little son sleeping, feel the raging and painful disease I still endure, look at my life…, and wonder if he really needs me. Or if anyone does at all for that matter. I wish I could be funny, or make a joke about it. But i cant anymore. I’m nothing but a thin shell of my former self. And frankly, I love my son so much that I DID nearly die for him. But now, I want to know…when will I be healed? When will I feel happy again? When will everything tie together? I’m waiting to heal to pursue my career goals…and I’m waiting for my marriage to be fun and happy. I’m so scared that neither will happen. And meanwhile, I just sit. Looking at my beautiful son sleep.
